I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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