I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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