Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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