So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
