Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize