he wants to bone in the snuggie
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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