She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
