If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
