I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize