i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize