sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
