you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize