is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize