Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
FUCK WHALES
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