no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
