the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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