i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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