she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
