I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
