i just google imaged poop.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
