i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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