You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
