No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize