I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
