We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
