my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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