According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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