My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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