did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
