idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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