Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
