The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
