At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
