He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
