She said her name was "party"
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
