I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
