It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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