I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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