dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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