what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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