i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize