The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
