oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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