Just mADE A PArabola og urine
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
