sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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