Dual....:-)
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
