God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
