Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
