Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
