But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
