I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
