i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
His nipple licking is glorious
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