zippers are such a cool invention
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize