you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
