But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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