dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
