did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize