Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Drake has all the answers
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize