I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
