you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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