I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
