I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
did you just send me my own nude
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
