things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
