Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
